It’s rather surreal to think that on this day a year ago I was in the emergency room being told I need to be hospitalized because I could no longer walk.
A week later and I was still laid up in that lumpy bed, eating that bland food, getting a spinal tap, hoping against hope for a different fate.
And then a week after that learning my diagnosis: Multiple sclerorsis.
What terrifying words those are to hear. They still send chills through me.
And what a journey it has been this past year.
Thank you to everyone who has reached out — the encouragement in the face of these struggles has been a lifeline. I am grateful for the support, the love, the honest talks, the shoulders I cried on, the prayers, all of it.
I don’t know that I’m any better at this than I was on Day 1. I’m still scared. But I’m still fighting.
I take a shot every day now. I am a bigger fan of walking and having eyesight than I am a hater of needles.
I have a disabled placard. I use it often and don’t feel a shred of guilt anymore. Hey, it’s tiring having this beast.
I pushed my limits and found a strength I didn’t know I had.
I’ve had several exacerbations, none of which were particularly fun.
I wake up every day still wishing for a different fate. But I go through each day seeking out what is good, and I don’t know that I did that pre-MS.
I count my blessings, which are numerous.
But there’s one in particular I am most grateful for, and that is Nick.
He didn’t have to stick around, even though he did say the “in sickness and in health” part, and I don’t think his fingers were crossed.
I don’t think either of us could have anticipated this, so we certainly weren’t prepared. But he’s rolled with the punches and given me the best life I could ever imagine.
For all the awful this past year has dealt us, he has made sure to keep me safe, loved and hopeful.