I’m reaching the three-month point of living with multiple sclerosis.
There have been more downs than ups, for sure, especially if you take into account all of my klutz-inspired spills. If I were a publicly traded company, this quarter would probably scare investors away.
I’m stronger than I thought. I knew I was the type of person to never give up. But I didn’t know what that really meant until faced with the prospect of not walking. And then it became a matter of will. And then being able to face this reality – life turned upside down and inside out – took tenacity that I wasn’t sure I had.
I’m not that big of a weenie. I really thought I’d have a problem with the shots. Don’t get me wrong. They suck. Big-time. But I’ve learned to buck up and take my lumps like a big girl. Ditto on the MRIs. And the spinal tap.
I can still be grateful. In the face of all that’s bad, I still feel pretty lucky. I have a husband who adores me, a family that loves me, friends who care for me, a job that challenges me, a life that enriches me, and pets that tolerate me. What else matters?
I still have hope. No, I’m not always optimistic. But deep down I know that things are going to be OK.
I can be assertive with strangers after all! This is a big one for me. I’ve learned to be my best advocate and stand my ground. The world can be a cold, churning machine, but I refuse to let it swallow me up whole.
Going forward, there are several to-do’s on my list. One is to get involved in the local MS support community. It’s taken me this long to wrap my head around the concept that I have MS.
An extension of that is to do the MS Walk in April. I’d also like to dance to show the world the MS doesn’t have to close the door to an active life.
I’d also like to make an impact in the larger sense. This blog is more for me than anything else, but if a newly diagnosed MSer finds this and finds a little comfort, then I know it has all been worth it.